On Tuesday, November 12th, 2009 at 9:38 a.m., Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Dear Harold,
Are you willing to go to mediation?
It will save money and time.
This mediator comes recommended by Tori and Helmi. The office is close by. I think we both have to agree to try it before I call.
Here is the link. What do you think?
http://www.PasadenaMediation.com/
Thanks.
Best,
Mira-Lani
On Friday, November 13th, 2009 at 11:40 p.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
haven't received confirmation for sunday. are you planning to have your visit?
On Friday, November 13th, 2009 at 1:52 p.m., Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Yes. Lynda said that you and she had worked out a 1:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. Sunday schedule for the rest of the month.
What do you think about mediation?
On Wednesday, November 25th, 2009:
Mrs. Abramowitz engaged an attorney.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Monday, November 9, 2009
Drop Off
From the notebook of Lynda L. Rascón:
October 25th, 2009 Drop Off
I called Harold's cell phone at 6:08 pm. He did not answer and I left a message asking him to please call back. When we arrived at Lani's house, the kids went upstairs to get their belongings and I stayed downstairs cutting the netting from the dress that Lani had just purchased for Harriet to use for Halloween. The reason we were late for the drop off was that the last minute shopping for Halloween costumes took longer than anticipated.
Lani stayed at the curbside as I walked with the children to their apartment. We saw Harold headed to what I was informed was the apartment complex's laundry facility. I walked towards the stairs and saw Harold coming up the stairs with white laundry. I attempted to make small talk with him, letting him know that my washing machine was not working. By the time he reached the top of the stairs, his face was really red and he walked quickly towards his apartment door, leaving me behind as he spoke loudly and began to say, why did we bring them back at 6:30 p.m., why was Lani at the curbside, why did I bring them late the previous visit (which was not so), why did I leave a message asking him to call me back when I should have left a message letting him know that we were going to be late. He was extremely upset.
Before Harold reached the door to his apartment, Theodore was already inside the living room and Harriet was walking in. She turned towards me and I could see her anxiety. I was looking at the situation as: What is he so worked up about?
I asked him, "Why are you being so mean to me?" He did not respond to this. I also asked what was the big deal about us being 30 minutes late when I had called him and he had not answered or returned the call. I further asked, what did he have to do that had put him behind on his schedule; at 6:30 p.m. on a Sunday I do not believe he had plans to go anywhere.
He then closed the door and, within a second, reopened the door to ask me, "How would you like it if you came at 12 p.m. to pick them up and they did not go outside till 12:30 p.m.?" I told him it would not bother me. At least not to the point of such obvious anger, is what I was thinking. He then closed the door and I walked away.
I was in disbelief that after just three monitored visits he began to show his true self. I was also concerned with what he would say to the children.
After such a beautiful day, it would end with such anger over something that could have been discussed in a very nice way. I am understanding. Harold, on the other hand, seems to be on a one-way track towards making those around him as miserable as himself. The misery is obvious when he has two wonderful children and chooses to live with them as an "Adult Roommate" and not as a loving parent. As you will see in his response to my email, he believes he was cordial and that there is nothing wrong with us picking up the kids at the curbside instead of the front of his apartment.
When Harriet begins to date, I wonder will he be okay with her being picked up at the curbside?
On Monday, October 26th, 2009 at 8:24 a.m., Lynda L. Rascón emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Hi, Harold. I hope to put last night's episode behind us and move forward. I saw the episode as something that should not have been. I am a very understanding and expressive person and would have understood what you are requesting with nicer manners. Communication is very important in the lives of all of us.
I understand the importance of being on time. Yet, I also understand that there are times when time goes by quickly to accomplish what has been planned. I would like to continue to pick up the children from the front of the apartment, not coming near the steps. I find it very important that they are not picked up in the street. The little understanding that I have of social propriety leads me to believe that picking them up in the street is not and does not feel right.
Last week's visit was to end at 6:30 p.m,, since we did pick them up at 12:30 p.m., to clear up the timing from that visit. My apologies for being late yesterday, I was cutting the netting from the dress and it was taking me longer than expected. I will be more punctual in the future.
Claudette and I will be arriving earlier to assure punctuality. If it is acceptable we will keep the visitations from 12:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m. Please let me know if there is anything that you need help with.
Best regards and Blessings,
Lynda
On Monday, October 26th, 2009 at 9:52 a.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Lynda L. Rascon:
Hi Lynda,
For what it's worth, I am happy that you are willing to help Mira-Lani with her monitoring needs.
However, hovering at the top of our apartment complex's narrow stairwell as I am coming up with two arm-fulls [sic] of laundry and then asking me if I'm "doing laundry", and then following me to my door is a breach of my personal space and boundaries. Furthermore, if you knew you were going to be late, and were making a courtesy call to inform me that you were going to be late, why didn't you just say that on the message? Why leave your number with no information and ask me to call you back? Again, this seems like a breach of my time and space.
I trust that Mira-Lani's time with Harriet and Theodore is being used appropriately with you as monitor. There does not need to be a lot, or any, discussion beyond the making [sic] pick-up and drop-off arrangements. Also, I would prefer if you did not come to the door uninvited. Harriet and Theodore have never had to go to the "street" to meet their mother, but they are certainly capable of walking partially up and down the walkway.
Next Sunday is fine, except I would prefer that the time be from 12:30pm to 6:30pm. If this is possible, please let me know. Also, in the future, if you guys are going to be late coming back and need to call, please just say that on the message. I do understand that that happens from time to time.
I apologize if you felt our interaction yesterday was anything less than cordial, but I hope you understand my point of view.
Best,
Harold
October 25th, 2009 Drop Off
I called Harold's cell phone at 6:08 pm. He did not answer and I left a message asking him to please call back. When we arrived at Lani's house, the kids went upstairs to get their belongings and I stayed downstairs cutting the netting from the dress that Lani had just purchased for Harriet to use for Halloween. The reason we were late for the drop off was that the last minute shopping for Halloween costumes took longer than anticipated.
Lani stayed at the curbside as I walked with the children to their apartment. We saw Harold headed to what I was informed was the apartment complex's laundry facility. I walked towards the stairs and saw Harold coming up the stairs with white laundry. I attempted to make small talk with him, letting him know that my washing machine was not working. By the time he reached the top of the stairs, his face was really red and he walked quickly towards his apartment door, leaving me behind as he spoke loudly and began to say, why did we bring them back at 6:30 p.m., why was Lani at the curbside, why did I bring them late the previous visit (which was not so), why did I leave a message asking him to call me back when I should have left a message letting him know that we were going to be late. He was extremely upset.
Before Harold reached the door to his apartment, Theodore was already inside the living room and Harriet was walking in. She turned towards me and I could see her anxiety. I was looking at the situation as: What is he so worked up about?
I asked him, "Why are you being so mean to me?" He did not respond to this. I also asked what was the big deal about us being 30 minutes late when I had called him and he had not answered or returned the call. I further asked, what did he have to do that had put him behind on his schedule; at 6:30 p.m. on a Sunday I do not believe he had plans to go anywhere.
He then closed the door and, within a second, reopened the door to ask me, "How would you like it if you came at 12 p.m. to pick them up and they did not go outside till 12:30 p.m.?" I told him it would not bother me. At least not to the point of such obvious anger, is what I was thinking. He then closed the door and I walked away.
I was in disbelief that after just three monitored visits he began to show his true self. I was also concerned with what he would say to the children.
After such a beautiful day, it would end with such anger over something that could have been discussed in a very nice way. I am understanding. Harold, on the other hand, seems to be on a one-way track towards making those around him as miserable as himself. The misery is obvious when he has two wonderful children and chooses to live with them as an "Adult Roommate" and not as a loving parent. As you will see in his response to my email, he believes he was cordial and that there is nothing wrong with us picking up the kids at the curbside instead of the front of his apartment.
When Harriet begins to date, I wonder will he be okay with her being picked up at the curbside?
On Monday, October 26th, 2009 at 8:24 a.m., Lynda L. Rascón emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Hi, Harold. I hope to put last night's episode behind us and move forward. I saw the episode as something that should not have been. I am a very understanding and expressive person and would have understood what you are requesting with nicer manners. Communication is very important in the lives of all of us.
I understand the importance of being on time. Yet, I also understand that there are times when time goes by quickly to accomplish what has been planned. I would like to continue to pick up the children from the front of the apartment, not coming near the steps. I find it very important that they are not picked up in the street. The little understanding that I have of social propriety leads me to believe that picking them up in the street is not and does not feel right.
Last week's visit was to end at 6:30 p.m,, since we did pick them up at 12:30 p.m., to clear up the timing from that visit. My apologies for being late yesterday, I was cutting the netting from the dress and it was taking me longer than expected. I will be more punctual in the future.
Claudette and I will be arriving earlier to assure punctuality. If it is acceptable we will keep the visitations from 12:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m. Please let me know if there is anything that you need help with.
Best regards and Blessings,
Lynda
On Monday, October 26th, 2009 at 9:52 a.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Lynda L. Rascon:
Hi Lynda,
For what it's worth, I am happy that you are willing to help Mira-Lani with her monitoring needs.
However, hovering at the top of our apartment complex's narrow stairwell as I am coming up with two arm-fulls [sic] of laundry and then asking me if I'm "doing laundry", and then following me to my door is a breach of my personal space and boundaries. Furthermore, if you knew you were going to be late, and were making a courtesy call to inform me that you were going to be late, why didn't you just say that on the message? Why leave your number with no information and ask me to call you back? Again, this seems like a breach of my time and space.
I trust that Mira-Lani's time with Harriet and Theodore is being used appropriately with you as monitor. There does not need to be a lot, or any, discussion beyond the making [sic] pick-up and drop-off arrangements. Also, I would prefer if you did not come to the door uninvited. Harriet and Theodore have never had to go to the "street" to meet their mother, but they are certainly capable of walking partially up and down the walkway.
Next Sunday is fine, except I would prefer that the time be from 12:30pm to 6:30pm. If this is possible, please let me know. Also, in the future, if you guys are going to be late coming back and need to call, please just say that on the message. I do understand that that happens from time to time.
I apologize if you felt our interaction yesterday was anything less than cordial, but I hope you understand my point of view.
Best,
Harold
Monday, October 26, 2009
Mrs. Abramowitz and Harriet and Theodore's Therapist
On Friday, August 21st, 2009 at 4:56 p.m., Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Harriet and Theodore's therapist, Dr. Linda Bortell:
Hello Dr. Bortell.
I am Harriet and Theodore's mother, Mira-Lani.
Are they still seeing you?
Please write back and tell me.
My last monitored visit with Harriet and Theodore took place on Sunday, July 26th, almost four weeks ago.
Thank you for your time.
On September 2nd, 2009, Mrs. Abramowitz sent a letter to Harriet and Theodore's therapist, Dr. Linda Bortell through the U.S. Postal Service:
Dear Dr. Bortell,
I tried to email you through your website,
but haven't heard back.
I am Harriet and Theodore's mother.
I have not seen them for more than five weeks now.
Please get in touch with me.
Thank you.
Best,
Mira-Lani
On September 27th, 2009, Mrs. Abramowitz sent a letter to Harriet and Theodore's therapist, Dr. Linda Bortell, through the U.S. Postal Service:
Dear Dr. Bortell,
Thanks to family friend Tina Erickson's intervention, I was able to see Harriet and Theodore on Sunday, September 20, 2009. Prior to that I had not been permitted to see them for eight weeks, despite the fact that I live right across the street.
During our visit, Harriet and Theodore mentioned that you told them you had heard from me.
Please explain why you have not responded to my two prior communication attempts (August 21, 2009; September 2, 2009).
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Mira-Lani
Harriet & Theodore's Mother
[Editor's Note: As of this posting, Harriet and Theodore's therapist, Dr. Linda Bortell, has not responded to Mrs. Abramowitz.]
Hello Dr. Bortell.
I am Harriet and Theodore's mother, Mira-Lani.
Are they still seeing you?
Please write back and tell me.
My last monitored visit with Harriet and Theodore took place on Sunday, July 26th, almost four weeks ago.
Thank you for your time.
On September 2nd, 2009, Mrs. Abramowitz sent a letter to Harriet and Theodore's therapist, Dr. Linda Bortell through the U.S. Postal Service:
Dear Dr. Bortell,
I tried to email you through your website,
but haven't heard back.
I am Harriet and Theodore's mother.
I have not seen them for more than five weeks now.
Please get in touch with me.
Thank you.
Best,
Mira-Lani
On September 27th, 2009, Mrs. Abramowitz sent a letter to Harriet and Theodore's therapist, Dr. Linda Bortell, through the U.S. Postal Service:
Dear Dr. Bortell,
Thanks to family friend Tina Erickson's intervention, I was able to see Harriet and Theodore on Sunday, September 20, 2009. Prior to that I had not been permitted to see them for eight weeks, despite the fact that I live right across the street.
During our visit, Harriet and Theodore mentioned that you told them you had heard from me.
Please explain why you have not responded to my two prior communication attempts (August 21, 2009; September 2, 2009).
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Mira-Lani
Harriet & Theodore's Mother
[Editor's Note: As of this posting, Harriet and Theodore's therapist, Dr. Linda Bortell, has not responded to Mrs. Abramowitz.]
Monday, August 17, 2009
Harriet Misses Her Mother
On Saturday, August 8th, 2009 at 3:00 p.m., Harriet emailed her mother, Mrs. Abramowitz:
I miss you and hope to see you this week. I love you.
I miss you and hope to see you this week. I love you.
Monday, August 10, 2009
The Last of Mrs. Abramowitz's Monitors
On Sunday, July 26th, 2009 at 12:50 p.m., Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Please send me the information about the nearby, low income Neutral Monitoring Sites you've previously mentioned.
I don't have any money and can't afford the off-site professional monitors.
If you send me the information, I will get in touch with them to set up next week's visit.
Thanks.
On Monday, July 27th, 2009 at 8:49 a.m., Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Harold,
Please send me the information about the Neutral Monitoring Sites you've previously mentioned.
I don't have any money and can't afford the off-site professional monitors.
Thank you.
On Tuesday, July 28th, 2009 at 2:44 p.m., Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Hello.
Do you have any information about the Neutral Monitoring Sites you suggested?
Please write back and tell me.
Thank you.
On Friday, July 31st, 2009 at 9:37 a.m., Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Clemi Boubli has agreed to monitor the Sunday, August 2nd visit.
Thank you.
On Friday, July 31st, 2009 at 10:41 a.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
mira-lani,
for obvious reasons, clemi boublit [sic] is not acceptable to me as a monitor.
best,
harold
On Friday, July 31st, 2009 at 11:13 a.m., Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
I'm sorry, but it is not obvious to me; please explain.
Also, please send the information about the neutral monitoring sites you've repeatedly suggested. This is my fourth request for that information.
Thank you.
On Friday, July 31st, 2009 at 11:21 a.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
mira-lani,
clemy's [sic] statement that was filed with the court as part of your response to my order to show cause makes her an unacceptable choice for me--i believe the statement contributed an unhealthy environment of alienation that harriet and theodore do not need to be a part of [sic].
[Editor's Note: The statement to which Mr. Abramowitz is referring was filed in September, 2007, almost two years ago.]
as far as monitoring arrangements are concerned, that is decidedly your affair, and not mine. but if you do choose to use a professional and or [sic] professional site, please let me know.
also, please let me know if you are able to come up with an alternative monitor as soon as possible.
best,
harold
Please send me the information about the nearby, low income Neutral Monitoring Sites you've previously mentioned.
I don't have any money and can't afford the off-site professional monitors.
If you send me the information, I will get in touch with them to set up next week's visit.
Thanks.
On Monday, July 27th, 2009 at 8:49 a.m., Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Harold,
Please send me the information about the Neutral Monitoring Sites you've previously mentioned.
I don't have any money and can't afford the off-site professional monitors.
Thank you.
On Tuesday, July 28th, 2009 at 2:44 p.m., Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Hello.
Do you have any information about the Neutral Monitoring Sites you suggested?
Please write back and tell me.
Thank you.
On Friday, July 31st, 2009 at 9:37 a.m., Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Clemi Boubli has agreed to monitor the Sunday, August 2nd visit.
Thank you.
On Friday, July 31st, 2009 at 10:41 a.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
mira-lani,
for obvious reasons, clemi boublit [sic] is not acceptable to me as a monitor.
best,
harold
On Friday, July 31st, 2009 at 11:13 a.m., Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
I'm sorry, but it is not obvious to me; please explain.
Also, please send the information about the neutral monitoring sites you've repeatedly suggested. This is my fourth request for that information.
Thank you.
On Friday, July 31st, 2009 at 11:21 a.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
mira-lani,
clemy's [sic] statement that was filed with the court as part of your response to my order to show cause makes her an unacceptable choice for me--i believe the statement contributed an unhealthy environment of alienation that harriet and theodore do not need to be a part of [sic].
[Editor's Note: The statement to which Mr. Abramowitz is referring was filed in September, 2007, almost two years ago.]
as far as monitoring arrangements are concerned, that is decidedly your affair, and not mine. but if you do choose to use a professional and or [sic] professional site, please let me know.
also, please let me know if you are able to come up with an alternative monitor as soon as possible.
best,
harold
Monday, August 3, 2009
All About Mrs. Abramowitz's Monitors: Barbara
On Friday, July 24th, 2009 at 12:01 p.m., Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Barbara Romain has agreed to come for the Sunday, July 26th visit.
Thank you.
On Friday, July 24th, 2009 at 6:55 p.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
thank you.
and is barbara going to monitor? and is barbara going monitor for the entire 1:00pm to 7:00pm?
best,
harold
On Sunday, July 26th, 2009 at 7:46 a.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz
Mira-Lani,
I will take your non-responsiveness to my attempts to verify today's monitoring arrangement to mean that you have no monitoring arrangement and are not planning to have your visit with Harriet and Theodore today?
Best,
Harold
On Sunday, July 26th, 2009, at 10:17 a.m., Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Hello Harold.
As I informed you in my email on Friday, Barbara is planning to pick Harriet and Theodore up at 1:00 today.
If Harriet and Theodore want to go to the Classical Theatre Lab's production of 'Twelfth Night' at Plummer Park in Hollywood, it starts at 5:00 p.m.. If they want to go, would it be okay to bring them home after it is over? It will be later than 7:00 p.m.
Love,
Lani
On Sunday, July 26th, 2009 at 11:50 a.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
Okay.
If Barbara is not able to serve as monitor for the arranged 1:00pm to 7:00pm time, or for an alternative timeframe [sic], then there is going to be no visit today.
Perhaps you should make arrangements to hire a professional monitor.
Please advise for next week as soon as possible.
Best,
Harold
On Sunday, July 26th, 2009 at 12:13 p.m., Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Sorry for the confusion.
Barbara is able to serve, and is coming at one o' clock.
Please have Harriet and Theodore ready on time.
May I take them to see 'Twelfth Night'?
Thank you.
On Sunday, July 26th, 2009 at 12:19 p.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
great.
harriet and theodore will ready at 1:00pm.
as far as twelfth night is concerned, what time do you propose to have them back? and is barbara able to serve for that portion of the visit as well?
best,
harold
On Sunday, July 26th, 2009 at 12:29 p.m., Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Do they want to go?
I don't know yet if Harriet, Theodore, and Barbara will want to go.
If they want to go, it doesn't start until five and it's in Hollywood.
How long do you think?
I will try to look it up right now and see if the Classical Theatre Lab website says how long it is, but I'm assuming it will be two hours at least, and then the drive home.
Also, Barbara will probably not want to drive from Hollywood to South Pas back to Echo Park again. Do you trust me to drive the children home by myself? Do you want to pick them up at Plummer Park?
I think it's a good opportunity for them to see 'Twelfth Night.' Steve Moramarco from Young Playwrights Lab is in it.
On Sunday, July 26th, 2009 at 12:35 p.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
Mira-Lani,
I think it better if Harriet and Theodore can come home at 7:00pm. I know this is a difficult arrangement for all of us, but it is easier if we can have these things planned out in advance.
Again, I'll expect Harriet and Theodore at 7.
Best,
Harold
On Sunday, July 26th, 2009 at 12:40 p.m., Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Okay.
Thank you.
I'm sending the website in case you'd like to take them:
www.classicaltheatrelab.org
Barbara will pick Harriet and Theodore up at one o'clock.
Bye.
Barbara Romain has agreed to come for the Sunday, July 26th visit.
Thank you.
On Friday, July 24th, 2009 at 6:55 p.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
thank you.
and is barbara going to monitor? and is barbara going monitor for the entire 1:00pm to 7:00pm?
best,
harold
On Sunday, July 26th, 2009 at 7:46 a.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz
Mira-Lani,
I will take your non-responsiveness to my attempts to verify today's monitoring arrangement to mean that you have no monitoring arrangement and are not planning to have your visit with Harriet and Theodore today?
Best,
Harold
On Sunday, July 26th, 2009, at 10:17 a.m., Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Hello Harold.
As I informed you in my email on Friday, Barbara is planning to pick Harriet and Theodore up at 1:00 today.
If Harriet and Theodore want to go to the Classical Theatre Lab's production of 'Twelfth Night' at Plummer Park in Hollywood, it starts at 5:00 p.m.. If they want to go, would it be okay to bring them home after it is over? It will be later than 7:00 p.m.
Love,
Lani
On Sunday, July 26th, 2009 at 11:50 a.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
Okay.
If Barbara is not able to serve as monitor for the arranged 1:00pm to 7:00pm time, or for an alternative timeframe [sic], then there is going to be no visit today.
Perhaps you should make arrangements to hire a professional monitor.
Please advise for next week as soon as possible.
Best,
Harold
On Sunday, July 26th, 2009 at 12:13 p.m., Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Sorry for the confusion.
Barbara is able to serve, and is coming at one o' clock.
Please have Harriet and Theodore ready on time.
May I take them to see 'Twelfth Night'?
Thank you.
On Sunday, July 26th, 2009 at 12:19 p.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
great.
harriet and theodore will ready at 1:00pm.
as far as twelfth night is concerned, what time do you propose to have them back? and is barbara able to serve for that portion of the visit as well?
best,
harold
On Sunday, July 26th, 2009 at 12:29 p.m., Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Do they want to go?
I don't know yet if Harriet, Theodore, and Barbara will want to go.
If they want to go, it doesn't start until five and it's in Hollywood.
How long do you think?
I will try to look it up right now and see if the Classical Theatre Lab website says how long it is, but I'm assuming it will be two hours at least, and then the drive home.
Also, Barbara will probably not want to drive from Hollywood to South Pas back to Echo Park again. Do you trust me to drive the children home by myself? Do you want to pick them up at Plummer Park?
I think it's a good opportunity for them to see 'Twelfth Night.' Steve Moramarco from Young Playwrights Lab is in it.
On Sunday, July 26th, 2009 at 12:35 p.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
Mira-Lani,
I think it better if Harriet and Theodore can come home at 7:00pm. I know this is a difficult arrangement for all of us, but it is easier if we can have these things planned out in advance.
Again, I'll expect Harriet and Theodore at 7.
Best,
Harold
On Sunday, July 26th, 2009 at 12:40 p.m., Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Okay.
Thank you.
I'm sending the website in case you'd like to take them:
www.classicaltheatrelab.org
Barbara will pick Harriet and Theodore up at one o'clock.
Bye.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Still More Mrs. Abramowitz's Monitors: Lynn and Ripley and Jeff and Elise
On Thursday, July 2nd, 2009 at 5:45 p.m., Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Lynn Kuratomi has agreed to come for the Sunday, July 5th visit.
Thank you.
On Thursday, July 2nd, 2009 at 7:08 p.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
mira-lani,
please have Lynn email me verifying that she understands her role as monitor, and that she is going to, in fact, monitor your visit with harriet and theodore on sunday, june 28th, and that she will be present and monitoring for the whole duration of the visit.
if this is not possible, there are professional monitors and neutral monitoring sites available.
also, harriet and theodore have not returned on time from their visits for the last two weeks, in fact, they have been well over an hour late both times. please try to make every effort to have them home on time.
best,
harold
On Friday, July 3rd, 2009 at 12:02 a.m., Mrs. Abramowitz sent Mr. Abramowitz Lynn's telephone number and emailed:
Please feel free to communicate with Lynn directly.
On Friday, July 3rd, 2009 at 2:35 a.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
mira-lani,
i am very sorry, but i am not going to call lynn. however, please have Lynn email me verifying that she understands her role as monitor, and that she is going to, in fact, monitor your visit with harriet and theodore on sunday, june 28th, and that she will be present and monitoring for the whole duration of the visit.
if this is not possible, there are professional monitors and neutral monitoring sites available.
best,
harold
On Friday, July 3rd, 2009 at 2:36 a.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
sorry, july 5th.
best,
harold
On Saturday, July 4th, 2009 at 10:29 p.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
mira-lani,
just as a courtesy, please be advised that unless i get some assurance that your "monitor" understands that she is a monitor, and is intending to stay for the entire visit, i cannot reasonably allow the visit to occur.
best,
harold
On Sunday, July 5th, 2009 at 6:30 a.m., Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Lynn and Tina are both coming for today's visit. Both of them have monitored my visits with the children before today and understand your system.
One or both of them will be there to pick up Harriet and Theodore at 1:00 p.m., and, unless they are notified otherwise, one or both of them will return Harriet and Theodore to your care at 7:00 p.m..
If there is a problem, and we are going to be late, we will call you. Since the 'house' number that you gave me for my telephone calls to the children, no longer works, we will call you on your cell phone.*
[Editor's Note: Here, Mrs. Abramowitz included Lynn and Tina's telephone numbers.]
Please feel free to communicate with 'the monitors' directly.
Thank you.
*At Theodore's request, I tried to call him on your house phone every evening from May 25th-May 30th. Theodore was not allowed to answer the telephone; you did not play him my messages.
On Sunday, July 5th, 2009 at 9:17 a.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
thanks.
harriet and theo will be ready at 1:00 pm.
also, there is a scheduling conflict with next week, sunday, july 12th. i have an appointment at 11:00 am. so, 1. harriet and theodore can come with me and meet you later, say at 3:00 pm, or 2.
if you are able to arrange it with legitimate monitors you can pick up harriet and theodore at 11:00 am and have two extra hours with them that day, or 3. if none of this works, then we can reschedule.
i apologize for any inconvenience.
also, i have no idea what you are talking about re: telephone calls to theodore: i have never disallowed contact between you and harriet and or theodore.
best,
harold
[Editor's Note: On Sunday, February 15th, 2009 at 12:55 p.m., Harriet, whose eleventh birthday was on February 12th, sent the following chat message to Mrs. Abramowitz: Harriet: Mama I wanted to see you on my birthday... And i want to see you on your birthday. But Harold says i coudn't [sic] on my birthday. I love you.]
On Sunday, July 5th, 2009 at 10:41 p.m., Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Hello.
Would you like Harriet and Theodore to be picked up at 11:00 a.m., or is your appointment at 11:00 a.m. (earlier pick up)?
Please write back and tell me so that I can make the appropriate arrangements.
On Monday, July 6th, 2009 at 7:29 a.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
pick up would be at 11:00 am.
On Thursday, July 9th, 2009 at 9:21 a.m., Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Ripley Sellers, Lynn Kuratomi's son, has agreed to come for the Sunday, July 12th visit at eleven o'clock.
Thank you.
On Thursday, July 9th, 2009 at 10:05 a.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
mira-lani,
how old is ripley? and for what hours is he available?
please advise before we can finalize the visit.
best,
harold
On Thursday, July 9th, 2009 at 10:42 a.m., Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Ripley is all grown up now. (It goes really fast!!) He is getting ready to go to college and currently training as a Therapeutic Aide at Valley College. He was President of his class at Campbell Hall on Laurel Canyon, is a published writer, and has worked for many years as an aide to an autistic boy who is now twelve years old.
Option #2, of the three options you offered me, is the one I am selecting:
'2. if you are able to arrange it with legitimate monitors you can pick up harriet and theodore at 11:00 am and have two extra hours with them that day….'
On Thursday, July 9th, 2009 at 10:44 a.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
and for what hours is he available?
please advise before we can finalize the visit.
best,
harold
On Sunday, July 9th, 2009 at 10:47 a.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
and how old is he?
please advise before we can finalize the visit.
best,
harold
On Friday, July 10th, 2009 at 3:51 p.m., Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Please feel free to call Lynn Kuratomi/Ripley Sellers at [telephone number] with your concerns/questions.
Jeff Rogers and Elise Rodriguez will also be coming for the Sunday, July 12th visit.
Please feel free to call Jeff Rogers at [telephone number] with your concerns/questions.
I am expecting to be with Harriet and Theodore from 11:00 a.m. until 7:00 p.m..
Shabbat Shalom!!
On Friday, July 10th, 2009 at 4:46 p.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
mira-lani,
please just let me know who you are going to have for monitors, and what hours they can monitor for [sic]. i am not going to call anyone. it is not my responsibility. also, if ripley is a minor, i need to know how old he is. if i don't get this basic information within the next 24hrs or so, then we will have to call off the visit for sunday. perhaps you should look into professional monitors?
best,
harold
On Saturday, July 11th at 11:14 p.m., Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Jeff Rogers, Elise Rodriguez, and Ripley Sellers are the monitors for tomorrow's visit.
Ripley is 17 or 18; he is a trained and experienced therapeutic aide.
Jeff and Elise have previously monitored on several occasions and are familiar with your system.
Jeff, Elise, and Ripley will pick up Harriet and Theodore in front of your building at eleven.
At your suggestion, this week's visit is scheduled for 11:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m.. For the past few months, you have been allowing the children to come at 1:00 p.m. and stay until 7:00 p.m.. This week, because of your scheduling needs, you offered me 'two extra hours' with the children. If you have changed your mind and would like the visit to end before 7:00 p.m., please let the monitors (and the children) know.
If you have further concerns/questions for the monitors, you are welcome to call them; I provided their telephone numbers.
If you do not wish to call the monitors, you will have the opportunity to communicate with them in person when they come to pick Harriet and Theodore up at 11:00 tomorrow morning.
It is, in fact, your responsibility to ask your own questions and present your own concerns to the monitors (amateur or professional). It is also your responsibility to facilitate (as opposed to impede) my visits with the children.
On Sunday, July 12th at 12:16 a.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
thanks.
harriet and theo will be ready at 11:00 am, and i will expect them home at 7:00 pm.
i'm happy you were able to find monitors for the visit, and i really appreciate your flexibility.
best,
harold
Lynn Kuratomi has agreed to come for the Sunday, July 5th visit.
Thank you.
On Thursday, July 2nd, 2009 at 7:08 p.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
mira-lani,
please have Lynn email me verifying that she understands her role as monitor, and that she is going to, in fact, monitor your visit with harriet and theodore on sunday, june 28th, and that she will be present and monitoring for the whole duration of the visit.
if this is not possible, there are professional monitors and neutral monitoring sites available.
also, harriet and theodore have not returned on time from their visits for the last two weeks, in fact, they have been well over an hour late both times. please try to make every effort to have them home on time.
best,
harold
On Friday, July 3rd, 2009 at 12:02 a.m., Mrs. Abramowitz sent Mr. Abramowitz Lynn's telephone number and emailed:
Please feel free to communicate with Lynn directly.
On Friday, July 3rd, 2009 at 2:35 a.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
mira-lani,
i am very sorry, but i am not going to call lynn. however, please have Lynn email me verifying that she understands her role as monitor, and that she is going to, in fact, monitor your visit with harriet and theodore on sunday, june 28th, and that she will be present and monitoring for the whole duration of the visit.
if this is not possible, there are professional monitors and neutral monitoring sites available.
best,
harold
On Friday, July 3rd, 2009 at 2:36 a.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
sorry, july 5th.
best,
harold
On Saturday, July 4th, 2009 at 10:29 p.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
mira-lani,
just as a courtesy, please be advised that unless i get some assurance that your "monitor" understands that she is a monitor, and is intending to stay for the entire visit, i cannot reasonably allow the visit to occur.
best,
harold
On Sunday, July 5th, 2009 at 6:30 a.m., Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Lynn and Tina are both coming for today's visit. Both of them have monitored my visits with the children before today and understand your system.
One or both of them will be there to pick up Harriet and Theodore at 1:00 p.m., and, unless they are notified otherwise, one or both of them will return Harriet and Theodore to your care at 7:00 p.m..
If there is a problem, and we are going to be late, we will call you. Since the 'house' number that you gave me for my telephone calls to the children, no longer works, we will call you on your cell phone.*
[Editor's Note: Here, Mrs. Abramowitz included Lynn and Tina's telephone numbers.]
Please feel free to communicate with 'the monitors' directly.
Thank you.
*At Theodore's request, I tried to call him on your house phone every evening from May 25th-May 30th. Theodore was not allowed to answer the telephone; you did not play him my messages.
On Sunday, July 5th, 2009 at 9:17 a.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
thanks.
harriet and theo will be ready at 1:00 pm.
also, there is a scheduling conflict with next week, sunday, july 12th. i have an appointment at 11:00 am. so, 1. harriet and theodore can come with me and meet you later, say at 3:00 pm, or 2.
if you are able to arrange it with legitimate monitors you can pick up harriet and theodore at 11:00 am and have two extra hours with them that day, or 3. if none of this works, then we can reschedule.
i apologize for any inconvenience.
also, i have no idea what you are talking about re: telephone calls to theodore: i have never disallowed contact between you and harriet and or theodore.
best,
harold
[Editor's Note: On Sunday, February 15th, 2009 at 12:55 p.m., Harriet, whose eleventh birthday was on February 12th, sent the following chat message to Mrs. Abramowitz: Harriet: Mama I wanted to see you on my birthday... And i want to see you on your birthday. But Harold says i coudn't [sic] on my birthday. I love you.]
On Sunday, July 5th, 2009 at 10:41 p.m., Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Hello.
Would you like Harriet and Theodore to be picked up at 11:00 a.m., or is your appointment at 11:00 a.m. (earlier pick up)?
Please write back and tell me so that I can make the appropriate arrangements.
On Monday, July 6th, 2009 at 7:29 a.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
pick up would be at 11:00 am.
On Thursday, July 9th, 2009 at 9:21 a.m., Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Ripley Sellers, Lynn Kuratomi's son, has agreed to come for the Sunday, July 12th visit at eleven o'clock.
Thank you.
On Thursday, July 9th, 2009 at 10:05 a.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
mira-lani,
how old is ripley? and for what hours is he available?
please advise before we can finalize the visit.
best,
harold
On Thursday, July 9th, 2009 at 10:42 a.m., Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Ripley is all grown up now. (It goes really fast!!) He is getting ready to go to college and currently training as a Therapeutic Aide at Valley College. He was President of his class at Campbell Hall on Laurel Canyon, is a published writer, and has worked for many years as an aide to an autistic boy who is now twelve years old.
Option #2, of the three options you offered me, is the one I am selecting:
'2. if you are able to arrange it with legitimate monitors you can pick up harriet and theodore at 11:00 am and have two extra hours with them that day….'
On Thursday, July 9th, 2009 at 10:44 a.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
and for what hours is he available?
please advise before we can finalize the visit.
best,
harold
On Sunday, July 9th, 2009 at 10:47 a.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
and how old is he?
please advise before we can finalize the visit.
best,
harold
On Friday, July 10th, 2009 at 3:51 p.m., Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Please feel free to call Lynn Kuratomi/Ripley Sellers at [telephone number] with your concerns/questions.
Jeff Rogers and Elise Rodriguez will also be coming for the Sunday, July 12th visit.
Please feel free to call Jeff Rogers at [telephone number] with your concerns/questions.
I am expecting to be with Harriet and Theodore from 11:00 a.m. until 7:00 p.m..
Shabbat Shalom!!
On Friday, July 10th, 2009 at 4:46 p.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
mira-lani,
please just let me know who you are going to have for monitors, and what hours they can monitor for [sic]. i am not going to call anyone. it is not my responsibility. also, if ripley is a minor, i need to know how old he is. if i don't get this basic information within the next 24hrs or so, then we will have to call off the visit for sunday. perhaps you should look into professional monitors?
best,
harold
On Saturday, July 11th at 11:14 p.m., Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Jeff Rogers, Elise Rodriguez, and Ripley Sellers are the monitors for tomorrow's visit.
Ripley is 17 or 18; he is a trained and experienced therapeutic aide.
Jeff and Elise have previously monitored on several occasions and are familiar with your system.
Jeff, Elise, and Ripley will pick up Harriet and Theodore in front of your building at eleven.
At your suggestion, this week's visit is scheduled for 11:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m.. For the past few months, you have been allowing the children to come at 1:00 p.m. and stay until 7:00 p.m.. This week, because of your scheduling needs, you offered me 'two extra hours' with the children. If you have changed your mind and would like the visit to end before 7:00 p.m., please let the monitors (and the children) know.
If you have further concerns/questions for the monitors, you are welcome to call them; I provided their telephone numbers.
If you do not wish to call the monitors, you will have the opportunity to communicate with them in person when they come to pick Harriet and Theodore up at 11:00 tomorrow morning.
It is, in fact, your responsibility to ask your own questions and present your own concerns to the monitors (amateur or professional). It is also your responsibility to facilitate (as opposed to impede) my visits with the children.
On Sunday, July 12th at 12:16 a.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
thanks.
harriet and theo will be ready at 11:00 am, and i will expect them home at 7:00 pm.
i'm happy you were able to find monitors for the visit, and i really appreciate your flexibility.
best,
harold
Monday, July 20, 2009
More Mrs. Abramowitz's Monitors: Tina
On Thursday, June 25th, 2009 at 10:27 a.m., Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Tina has agreed to come for the Sunday, June 28th visit.
Thank you.
On Thursday, Jun 25th, 2009 at 2:42 p.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz, and cc’d his attorney, Charles Ver Hoeve:
mira-lani,
please have tina email me verifying that she understands her role as monitor, and that she is going to monitor your visit with harriet and theodore on sunday, june 28th, and that she will be present and monitoring for the whole time.
if this is not possible, there are professional monitors and neutral monitoring sites available.
also, harriet and theodore have not returned on time from their visits for the last two weeks, in fact, they have been well over an hour late both times. please try to make every effort to have them home on time.
best,
harold
On Friday, June 26th at 2:54 p.m., Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz Tina’s email address and telephone #:
Please feel free to communicate with Tina directly.
Shabbat Shalom!!
On Friday, June 26th, 2009 at 4:56 p.m., Mr. Abramowitz forwarded his previous message to Tina, again to Mrs. Abramowitz, and cc’d his attorney, Charles Ver Hoeve:
mira-lani,
please have tina email me verifying that she understands her role as monitor, and that she is going to monitor your visit with harriet and theodore on sunday, june 28th, and that she will be present and monitoring for the whole time.
if this is not possible, there are professional monitors and neutral monitoring sites available.
also, harriet and theodore have not returned on time from their visits for the last two weeks, in fact, they have been well over an hour late both times. please try to make every effort to have them home on time.
best,
harold
On Friday, June 26th, 2009 at 6:39 p.m., Tina emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Hi Harold,
I want to let you know that I have always stayed the entire time during our visits with Lani and the children. I do not know what my ‘role as a monitor’ is exactly. No one has ever explained it to me. Since you Cc your lawyer, I am confused because I have no idea if you’re placing some legal responsibility or liability on me? What does this all mean? I am not a professional monitor. I really have no idea what is expected of me. I want to bring my children over to play with Lani, Harriet & Theo & have a fun day. Also, I want to help Lani see her children.
Best,
Tina
On Saturday, June 27th, 2009 at 1:53 a.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Tina and Mrs. Abramowitz, and cc’d his attorney, Charles Ver Hoeve:
hi tina,
thanks for the message.
that is sufficient for me, and harriet and theodore will be ready at 1:00 pm.
also, please be aware that i have no power to place you under any legal responsibility or liability. i am cc-ing my attorney on these messages because they pertain [sic] the ongoing legal situation that all of us are in.
best,
harold
On Saturday, June 27th, 2009 at 9:00 a.m., Tina emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Hi Harold:
okay, thanks ;)
sunday 1 p.m. and I need to leave by 6 p.m.
best,
Tina
On Sunday, June 28th, 2009 at 10:21 a.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
I will expect Harriet and Theo home at 6:00 p.m. then.
best,
harold
On Monday, June 29th, 2009 at 9:50 a.m., Tina emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Hi Harold:
Yesterday we had fun. Sorry I was a little late but I didn’t have my cell phone and it is impossible to find a pay phone. I have a request: I would like to suggest you consider allowing Mira-Lani to take the kids every other weekend from Friday afternoon to Sunday afternoon, at least try it for the summer. It would be wonderful summer fun for the kids. Mira-Lani would love to take them to swim, parks, museums, and other fun activities. I’m sorry if I am being too intrusive but I feel it is necessary that I ask you for the benefit of Mira-Lani & the kids. They really need to see each other more often. I understand you are involved in litigation but I hope you will consider my suggestions. Please, the children really need to see their mother more often. Mira-Lani needs to see them too. Please, try it for the summer. It might work out to be great for everyone.
With Best Wishes,
Tina
On Monday, June 29th, 2009 at 10:12 a.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Tina, and cc’d Mrs. Abramowitz and, his attorney, Charles Ver Hoeve:
hi tina,
while i certainly appreciate your concern, please be advised that mira-lani's custody situation was determined by the court and not by me. i did not in any way request or express a desire for the current custody situation to be the way it is. in fact, your message would be best directed to mira-lani, being that she is the one who needs to take action to make the situation better by complying with what the court, not me, is asking her to do. please remember that harriet, theodore, and me [sic] have all been seriously affected by mira-lani's refusal to comply, thus, maybe you, as mira-lani's friend, can encourage her to do what needs to be done to improve the situation.
best,
harold
Tina has agreed to come for the Sunday, June 28th visit.
Thank you.
On Thursday, Jun 25th, 2009 at 2:42 p.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz, and cc’d his attorney, Charles Ver Hoeve:
mira-lani,
please have tina email me verifying that she understands her role as monitor, and that she is going to monitor your visit with harriet and theodore on sunday, june 28th, and that she will be present and monitoring for the whole time.
if this is not possible, there are professional monitors and neutral monitoring sites available.
also, harriet and theodore have not returned on time from their visits for the last two weeks, in fact, they have been well over an hour late both times. please try to make every effort to have them home on time.
best,
harold
On Friday, June 26th at 2:54 p.m., Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz Tina’s email address and telephone #:
Please feel free to communicate with Tina directly.
Shabbat Shalom!!
On Friday, June 26th, 2009 at 4:56 p.m., Mr. Abramowitz forwarded his previous message to Tina, again to Mrs. Abramowitz, and cc’d his attorney, Charles Ver Hoeve:
mira-lani,
please have tina email me verifying that she understands her role as monitor, and that she is going to monitor your visit with harriet and theodore on sunday, june 28th, and that she will be present and monitoring for the whole time.
if this is not possible, there are professional monitors and neutral monitoring sites available.
also, harriet and theodore have not returned on time from their visits for the last two weeks, in fact, they have been well over an hour late both times. please try to make every effort to have them home on time.
best,
harold
On Friday, June 26th, 2009 at 6:39 p.m., Tina emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Hi Harold,
I want to let you know that I have always stayed the entire time during our visits with Lani and the children. I do not know what my ‘role as a monitor’ is exactly. No one has ever explained it to me. Since you Cc your lawyer, I am confused because I have no idea if you’re placing some legal responsibility or liability on me? What does this all mean? I am not a professional monitor. I really have no idea what is expected of me. I want to bring my children over to play with Lani, Harriet & Theo & have a fun day. Also, I want to help Lani see her children.
Best,
Tina
On Saturday, June 27th, 2009 at 1:53 a.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Tina and Mrs. Abramowitz, and cc’d his attorney, Charles Ver Hoeve:
hi tina,
thanks for the message.
that is sufficient for me, and harriet and theodore will be ready at 1:00 pm.
also, please be aware that i have no power to place you under any legal responsibility or liability. i am cc-ing my attorney on these messages because they pertain [sic] the ongoing legal situation that all of us are in.
best,
harold
On Saturday, June 27th, 2009 at 9:00 a.m., Tina emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Hi Harold:
okay, thanks ;)
sunday 1 p.m. and I need to leave by 6 p.m.
best,
Tina
On Sunday, June 28th, 2009 at 10:21 a.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
I will expect Harriet and Theo home at 6:00 p.m. then.
best,
harold
On Monday, June 29th, 2009 at 9:50 a.m., Tina emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Hi Harold:
Yesterday we had fun. Sorry I was a little late but I didn’t have my cell phone and it is impossible to find a pay phone. I have a request: I would like to suggest you consider allowing Mira-Lani to take the kids every other weekend from Friday afternoon to Sunday afternoon, at least try it for the summer. It would be wonderful summer fun for the kids. Mira-Lani would love to take them to swim, parks, museums, and other fun activities. I’m sorry if I am being too intrusive but I feel it is necessary that I ask you for the benefit of Mira-Lani & the kids. They really need to see each other more often. I understand you are involved in litigation but I hope you will consider my suggestions. Please, the children really need to see their mother more often. Mira-Lani needs to see them too. Please, try it for the summer. It might work out to be great for everyone.
With Best Wishes,
Tina
On Monday, June 29th, 2009 at 10:12 a.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Tina, and cc’d Mrs. Abramowitz and, his attorney, Charles Ver Hoeve:
hi tina,
while i certainly appreciate your concern, please be advised that mira-lani's custody situation was determined by the court and not by me. i did not in any way request or express a desire for the current custody situation to be the way it is. in fact, your message would be best directed to mira-lani, being that she is the one who needs to take action to make the situation better by complying with what the court, not me, is asking her to do. please remember that harriet, theodore, and me [sic] have all been seriously affected by mira-lani's refusal to comply, thus, maybe you, as mira-lani's friend, can encourage her to do what needs to be done to improve the situation.
best,
harold
Monday, June 29, 2009
Mrs. Abramowitz's Monitors
On Monday, June 22nd, 2009 at 6:04 a.m.,
Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz and cc’d his attorney, Charles Ver Hoeve:
(Editor’s Note: Missing capitalization—[sic].)
mira-lani,
it has come to my understanding that you are not having monitored visits with harriet and theodore, and that you are in fact having your "monitors" pick up harriet and theodore and having them leave soon after 1:00 pm.
this is deeply dishonest on your part and on the part of your "monitors" and sets a really bad example for harriet and theodore, especially in that they have answered evasively and dishonestly when asked about their sunday visits with mom.
i believe harriet and theodore should have a healthy and consistent relationship with their mother, and i have done my best to be reasonable and accommodating throughout this difficult period of your refusal to cooperate with what the court requires of you. however, dishonesty and total refusal to adhere to what is required of you is not acceptable and not in harriet and theodore's best interests. i really hope you can resolve this situation and continue the regular and consistent visits that mean so much to harriet and theodore.
thank you.
Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz and cc’d his attorney, Charles Ver Hoeve:
(Editor’s Note: Missing capitalization—[sic].)
mira-lani,
it has come to my understanding that you are not having monitored visits with harriet and theodore, and that you are in fact having your "monitors" pick up harriet and theodore and having them leave soon after 1:00 pm.
this is deeply dishonest on your part and on the part of your "monitors" and sets a really bad example for harriet and theodore, especially in that they have answered evasively and dishonestly when asked about their sunday visits with mom.
i believe harriet and theodore should have a healthy and consistent relationship with their mother, and i have done my best to be reasonable and accommodating throughout this difficult period of your refusal to cooperate with what the court requires of you. however, dishonesty and total refusal to adhere to what is required of you is not acceptable and not in harriet and theodore's best interests. i really hope you can resolve this situation and continue the regular and consistent visits that mean so much to harriet and theodore.
thank you.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Passover
On Monday April 6th, 2009 at 1:10 PM,
Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Barbara Romain has agreed to monitor a special visit on Wednesday (April 8th) or Thursday (April 9th), so that Harriet and Theodore can do a Passover Seder with me this year. I want you to know that you are invited, and your father, too. Also, if the Abramowitz family is having a Seder this year, I would be very grateful to be included; in fact, I am begging you to include me. I believe it would be in the best interests of the children.
Barbara is available to monitor on either night between 6:30 PM and 10:30 PM.; her preference is Thursday (April 9th).
I am still trying to secure a monitor for next Sunday (April 12th).
Thank you for your consideration.
On Monday, April 6th at 7:11 PM,
Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz
and cc’d his attorney, Charles Ver Hoeve:
Mira-Lani,
That sounds like a nice idea, and Harriet and Theo seem into it.
Thursday is fine. However, we will not get home until around 7:00 pm on Thursday. I am also a little concerned about Theodore coming home so late, but we can give it a shot. So why don't we say 7:15 pm till around 10:15 - 10:30 ish.
Let me know if that works for you and Barbara.
Best,
Harold
On Monday, April 6th at 7:25 PM,
Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Thank you so much!! That is wonderful!!
Are you and your father going to be able to join us?
Please write back and tell me.
Thank you!!
On Monday, April 6th at 7:33 PM,
Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
[Editor’s Note: Mr. Abramowitz did not cc attorney Charles Ver Hoeve.]
Please be advised that your provocations will not be tolerated and are being archived re: the R.O.
[Editor’s Note: R.O. refers to Restraining Order.]
Also, please let me know your intention for Sunday in a timely manner.
Have a happy holiday.
Best,
Harold
Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Barbara Romain has agreed to monitor a special visit on Wednesday (April 8th) or Thursday (April 9th), so that Harriet and Theodore can do a Passover Seder with me this year. I want you to know that you are invited, and your father, too. Also, if the Abramowitz family is having a Seder this year, I would be very grateful to be included; in fact, I am begging you to include me. I believe it would be in the best interests of the children.
Barbara is available to monitor on either night between 6:30 PM and 10:30 PM.; her preference is Thursday (April 9th).
I am still trying to secure a monitor for next Sunday (April 12th).
Thank you for your consideration.
On Monday, April 6th at 7:11 PM,
Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz
and cc’d his attorney, Charles Ver Hoeve:
Mira-Lani,
That sounds like a nice idea, and Harriet and Theo seem into it.
Thursday is fine. However, we will not get home until around 7:00 pm on Thursday. I am also a little concerned about Theodore coming home so late, but we can give it a shot. So why don't we say 7:15 pm till around 10:15 - 10:30 ish.
Let me know if that works for you and Barbara.
Best,
Harold
On Monday, April 6th at 7:25 PM,
Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Thank you so much!! That is wonderful!!
Are you and your father going to be able to join us?
Please write back and tell me.
Thank you!!
On Monday, April 6th at 7:33 PM,
Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
[Editor’s Note: Mr. Abramowitz did not cc attorney Charles Ver Hoeve.]
Please be advised that your provocations will not be tolerated and are being archived re: the R.O.
[Editor’s Note: R.O. refers to Restraining Order.]
Also, please let me know your intention for Sunday in a timely manner.
Have a happy holiday.
Best,
Harold
Monday, March 23, 2009
Black Nail Polish
On Monday, March 9th, 2009 at 10:20 PM,
Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Ashley Brown has agreed to monitor the Sunday, March 15th visit. She is available to monitor from 10:00 a.m. until 6:00 p.m., eight hours. Please have Harriet and Theodore ready on time.
Thank you.
On Thursday, March 12th, 2009 at 8:01 AM,
Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
I'm sending this again because I haven't heard back from you.
Thank you.
Ashley Brown has agreed to monitor the Sunday, March 15th visit. She is available to monitor from 10:00 a.m. until 6:00 p.m., eight hours. Please have Harriet and Theodore ready on time.
Thank you.
On Thursday, March 12th, 2009 at 9:55 AM,
Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz
and cc’d his attorney, Charles Ver Hoeve:
Mira-Lani,
I am willing to give it a go again with your friend Ashley. However, it is not acceptable for Harriet to come home in the condition she came home in last time this person monitored for you. It was Sunday evening, a school night, and Harriet came home with her nails painted black, and without even nail polish remover in her possession. In other words, Harriet came home in a condition inappropriate to her regular life and in a condition that gave me added work to undo. This is not acceptable to me, but, again, I am willing to give it a go provided that both you and your friend are willing to act responsibly.
Also, the current visitation hours, as you know, are 1:00pm to 6:00pm. Harriet and Theodore will be ready at 1:00pm on Sunday.
Have a pleasant day!
Best,
Harold
Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Ashley Brown has agreed to monitor the Sunday, March 15th visit. She is available to monitor from 10:00 a.m. until 6:00 p.m., eight hours. Please have Harriet and Theodore ready on time.
Thank you.
On Thursday, March 12th, 2009 at 8:01 AM,
Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
I'm sending this again because I haven't heard back from you.
Thank you.
Ashley Brown has agreed to monitor the Sunday, March 15th visit. She is available to monitor from 10:00 a.m. until 6:00 p.m., eight hours. Please have Harriet and Theodore ready on time.
Thank you.
On Thursday, March 12th, 2009 at 9:55 AM,
Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz
and cc’d his attorney, Charles Ver Hoeve:
Mira-Lani,
I am willing to give it a go again with your friend Ashley. However, it is not acceptable for Harriet to come home in the condition she came home in last time this person monitored for you. It was Sunday evening, a school night, and Harriet came home with her nails painted black, and without even nail polish remover in her possession. In other words, Harriet came home in a condition inappropriate to her regular life and in a condition that gave me added work to undo. This is not acceptable to me, but, again, I am willing to give it a go provided that both you and your friend are willing to act responsibly.
Also, the current visitation hours, as you know, are 1:00pm to 6:00pm. Harriet and Theodore will be ready at 1:00pm on Sunday.
Have a pleasant day!
Best,
Harold
Monday, March 16, 2009
Theodore is Still Sick
On Sunday, March 8th, 2009 at 1:03 PM,
Mrs. Abramowitz called Mr. Abramowitz’s answering device:
She left a message stating that Tina, the monitor, was stuck on the freeway and was running late. Mrs. Abramowitz asked that the half-hour lost to lateness be extended to the end of the five-hour visit.
On Sunday, March 8th, 2009 at 1:06 PM,
Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
Thank you for the message.
Harriet and Theodore will be available when your monitor arrives.
And if it is okay with them, it is okay with me if you all have the full 5 hours from whenever Harriet and Theo leave.
Best,
Harold
[Editor’s Note: Judge Goldstein’s orders state that the visits are three hours. As we can see, Mr. Abramowitz is flexible regarding some of the court orders, but not others.]
On Sunday, March 8th, 2009 at 11:02 PM,
Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Theodore is still very sick. He needs me to take care of him.
Please let me take care of him here at my place tomorrow while you are at work.
I can help him get better.
Thank you for your consideration.
On Sunday, March 8th, 2009 at 11:32 PM,
Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
but well enough, apparently, for you to have taken him to an ice skating rink?
anyhow, please, refrain from extraneous emails to me. remember that email falls under the purview of the R.O. and I will keep and file all your extraneous email to me as documentation of harassment and forward to the SPPD when appropriate.
best,
harold
On Sunday, March 8th, 2009 at 11:59 PM,
Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
We do our best with the limited time we have together. Since Theodore doesn't like to ice skate, he and I cuddled while Harriet skated with Tina, Mary Pat and Greta for about one hour. He misses his mother, so that was good. Then we ate, went back to my place, and rested. I put chamomile on his infected eye. We did a little Purim play. Since Theodore was the King, it was okay for him to be reclining. And, believe me, he was reclining. He is not well.
He told me about the Science Fair and we talked about how you and he both have excellent senses of direction.
If you believe this is extraneous information/harassment, please go ahead and forward it to the SPPD.
Your son is sick and he needs his mother.
Mrs. Abramowitz called Mr. Abramowitz’s answering device:
She left a message stating that Tina, the monitor, was stuck on the freeway and was running late. Mrs. Abramowitz asked that the half-hour lost to lateness be extended to the end of the five-hour visit.
On Sunday, March 8th, 2009 at 1:06 PM,
Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
Thank you for the message.
Harriet and Theodore will be available when your monitor arrives.
And if it is okay with them, it is okay with me if you all have the full 5 hours from whenever Harriet and Theo leave.
Best,
Harold
[Editor’s Note: Judge Goldstein’s orders state that the visits are three hours. As we can see, Mr. Abramowitz is flexible regarding some of the court orders, but not others.]
On Sunday, March 8th, 2009 at 11:02 PM,
Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Theodore is still very sick. He needs me to take care of him.
Please let me take care of him here at my place tomorrow while you are at work.
I can help him get better.
Thank you for your consideration.
On Sunday, March 8th, 2009 at 11:32 PM,
Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
but well enough, apparently, for you to have taken him to an ice skating rink?
anyhow, please, refrain from extraneous emails to me. remember that email falls under the purview of the R.O. and I will keep and file all your extraneous email to me as documentation of harassment and forward to the SPPD when appropriate.
best,
harold
On Sunday, March 8th, 2009 at 11:59 PM,
Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
We do our best with the limited time we have together. Since Theodore doesn't like to ice skate, he and I cuddled while Harriet skated with Tina, Mary Pat and Greta for about one hour. He misses his mother, so that was good. Then we ate, went back to my place, and rested. I put chamomile on his infected eye. We did a little Purim play. Since Theodore was the King, it was okay for him to be reclining. And, believe me, he was reclining. He is not well.
He told me about the Science Fair and we talked about how you and he both have excellent senses of direction.
If you believe this is extraneous information/harassment, please go ahead and forward it to the SPPD.
Your son is sick and he needs his mother.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Mrs. Abramowitz's Birthday
On Sunday, Feb 22, 2009 at 10:36 AM,
Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Dear Harold,
I have not been able to secure a monitor for today's visit.
Theodore was sick on 2/8/09. He had a horrible infection under his eye. Luckily, I got to take care of it for a few hours. On 2/11/09, you went to Chicago and left him with a babysitter. Theodore was still sick on 2/15/09. He had a high fever during the entire visit. He slept and sweated in my arms. He wanted to stay here, but I didn't dare ask you. You sent him back to school and daycare before he was well. Because of this, he lost the opportunity he'd cherished (and earned) to participate in the Monterey Hills Elementary School Talent Show (2/20/09). Okay. I respect your decisions, but he needs time with his mother.
Harriet spent her eleventh birthday with a babysitter while you were out of town. She asked to see me and you told her no. Okay. I respect your decisions, but she needs time with her mother.
Today is the third anniversary of your mother's funeral. I'm thinking about your mother.
I took care of your mother (and your father) when your mother was dying. Afterwards, your sisters sent me a gold charm that they'd given to your mother years before. It says, '#1 Mom.'
Today is my birthday. I'm sick with worry about 'my' children.
I know I might be wrong, but I do believe that Harriet and Theodore still need their mother.
We have been living this way for more than a year now. The children are surviving, not thriving. The children clearly understand and consistently demonstrate their respect for the fact that you are the boss and that what you say goes. I, too, understand that I must show respect for your authority over the children and over my interaction with the children. If your system allows for compassion at all, then, please, for their health, for my health, allow me, their mother, to be with the children today.
Please know that I did not neglect my duties--absurd as they are--Since when does the prisoner hire his own warden?--and that I tried my hardest to get a monitor for today's visit.
Yes, this week's exercise in humiliation/stigmatization of the mother still occurred on schedule.
Sorry this is so long.
Thanks for listening.
Your old friend,
Lani
On Sunday, February 22nd 2009 at 12:04 PM,
Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
Mira-Lani,
Thanks for letting me know that you will not be having your visitation with Harriet and Theodore today.
As for the rest of your message, I consider it to be an attempt at provocation on your part and I will be forwarding it to the South Pasadena Police Dept. in accordance with the terms of the Restraining Order, which also covers email communication.
Thank you.
Best,
Harold
On Sun, Feb 22, 2009 at 12:27 PM,
Attorney Charles Ver Hoeve emailed his client,
Mr. Abramowitz,
and cc’d Mrs. Abramowitz:
Hello Mr. Abramowitz:
Thank you for keeping informed regarding status and issues regarding custody and visitation. I continue to be dismayed by Ms. Bernard-Abramowitz's tactics to seek a modification of the custody and visitation orders while REFUSING to comply with the long-standing orders to comply with the child custody evaluation.
In addition, I am pursuing the issue as to why Ms. Bernard-Abramowitz is not complying with the child support orders.
Sincerely,
Charles A. Ver Hoeve
On Sunday, February 22nd, 2009 at 4:24 PM,
Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Ver Hoeve:
Hello Mr. Ver Hoeve,
Since you are 'pursuing issues,' and since you Cc'd me, I suppose it's appropriate for me to respond to your email.
I still don't have an attorney or money for an attorney. My understanding is that legally Harold and I are divorced, that he has 'won' sole custody of the children, that there is a restraining order against me, and that my meager wages are being garnished to be wasted on after-school care and babysitting that I, the children's mother, a teacher with more than 25 years of professional experience, could joyfully and would gratefully provide free of charge.
Harold's actions and emails indicate that he wants to keep fighting, that he does not feel that he can ever share custody with me, and that he does not want me in the children's lives anymore. He seems to want sole custody, but still does not demonstrate compassion regarding the children's social and emotional needs. He is neglecting them and 'blaming' it on me. At Harold's behest, his family has dismissed me and encourages the children to do the same. PAS? These issues will not go away without help from therapeutic providers (not evaluators), even after the legal issues are resolved.
As Commissioner Michael J. Convey indicated at the June 2009 hearing, and as you are well aware, without an attorney and more than one custody evaluator, my children and I will not receive fair treatment in the Los Angeles Family Court.
This case has been going on since September 18th 2007 when, for some mysterious reason (since neither attorney requested it), the first hearing was held in chambers out of my presence. I still have no idea what went on.
Also, for some mysterious reason, in all this time, neither of the two presiding Court officials has seen fit to actually meet with the children and their so-called 'counsel.'
Oh, I'm sorry, my mistake. The first hearing was August 20th. It was an exparte hearing between you and Judge Goldstein of which no record was made (not by the court reporter, not by the electronic means available in all the courtrooms at Hill Street). Maybe that was when you asked for the September 18th chambers meeting. It's not mentioned in the August 20th Minute Orders. The week prior to that, you, Charles, 'disappeared' from the August 15th mediation appointment. You were there one minute and gone the next. Because you left, we were not even able to try mediation. Why did we have to go to court in the first place? Why couldn't we have tried mediation? Was it because you knew that I didn't have any money or adequate representation? That I was psychologically battered, unprotected, without resources and that you could just railroad me at whatever cost to the children? Tactics?
And now Harriet and Theodore suffer, continue to suffer. I understand that this is your profession, that it is adversarial and not collaborative, and that, even when--or especially when--you are working as a favor to a friend, you are obligated to use all available tactics to decimate your opponent. But don't you, as an attorney, have an ethical responsibility towards the children and their welfare? I don't know. Maybe not.
When, G-d willing, I am able to hire/gain access to a competent attorney and an unbiased Custody Evaluator, I will comply, if necessary, with an evaluation procedure that follows state and local laws and the profession's standards of practice. I hope your client will also comply. Evaluations of parents are supposed to happen concurrently, at least that's what I've read. When there are allegations of abuse and neglect (backed by sworn witness statements), tests beyond the MMPI are supposed to be administered, because the MMPI doesn't test for the problems Harold (and his family) has and that the children will have to live with.
Believe it or not, not everyone who refuses to participate in a custody evaluation has something to hide. Sometimes, as in my case, they are actually trying to follow G-d's law and avoid an escalation of hurt and problems. I don't believe in fighting in family court (or wasting money that could be better spent on the children) and would still rather work this out in a non-adversarial, collaborative, and forgiving way.
In the meantime, the children need more time with their mother and unmonitored time with their mother, regardless of who won custody. Since the court is your arena, since you are so obviously friendly and on good terms with the judges and clerks, since the 'unbiased' evaluator sees fit to have private communication with you and make private fee arrangements with you, since, during the hearings, the children's counsel whispers advice to you, Petitioner's counsel, regarding removing his clients' own witnesses from the courtroom, and since, before the hearings, the children's counsel and evaluator inappropriately confer with you in the court house hallway (without including me, the self-represented Respondent, despite the fact that I am obviously present), I think that you should be the one to ask for this relief for the children.
Furthermore, Ms. Yvonne Moore, the Chief Business Officer at Cleveland Chiropractic College tried several times to get in touch with you regarding setting up the wage garnishment. Despite the friendly encouragement you offered in your letter to 'call you with questions,' you were never available to speak with her when she called your office. She left messages for you, but you did not return her calls. According to my paycheck, the wage garnishment is now in place.
Similarly, I, the unwilling and unwillingly 'self-represented' Respondent, have not heard anything from you, Charles Ver Hoeve, attorney for the Petitioner, (until today, and today only indirectly) since you neglected/refused to respond to the certified letters I sent you last March 2007 and April 2007, almost a year ago now. In November and December, you lied in court when you said you'd had me served with papers. I wasn't there, but I read the transcripts. Are attorneys allowed to lie in court about serving papers? About anything?
Finally, you still don't even know my name. In your future communications with me or about me, you may correctly refer to me as: Harriet and Theodore's Mother.
For instance,
'Dear Harriet and Theodore's Mother,
I am aware that the children need their mother and I will do my best to help my client(s) understand that, while it is good not to hurt or eat animals, it is just as important not to hurt or eat people....'
Sincerely,
Harriet and Theodore's Mother
'Courage in women is often mistaken for insanity.'
On Sunday, February 22nd, 2009 at 5:08 PM,
Mr. Ver Hoeve wrote:
Ms. Bernard Abramowitz:
I have not received any calls from Ms. Yvonne Moore since sending her the child support order.
Regarding the issue of cooperation, would you agree to sign a stipulation re joinder of yourself to the paternity action filed by Mr. Oglesby. That way we can set a hearing to resolve the issue of paternity that Mr. Oglesby, not Mr. Abramowitz, raised.
I am happy to work with you if you are willing to cooperate. Cooperation, however, begins with complying with the already existing court orders and requesting any changes you think are appropriate through the court.
Sincerely,
Charles A. Ver Hoeve
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
On Sunday, February 22nd, 2009 at 6:33 PM,
Mrs. Abramowitz wrote:
Mr. Ver Hoeve,
Please send all of your correspondence to me via United States mail. Please cooperate with my request and address me as 'Harriet and Theodore's Mother.'
You are lying about Ms. Moore. She called you and left you messages, to which you did not respond.
As I explained, unless and until I have an attorney, I cannot 'stipulate to,' 'cooperate with' or 'request any changes' through the court. That is what the Judge/Commissioner said. You know that. Please do not continue to try to manipulate me, or trick me, into working against my own and the children's best interests.
I am not married to Mr. Oglesby. Mr. Oglesby is Harriet's biological father. Although I was married to Mr. Oglesby for several years (1987-1994), I was not married to him when Harriet was conceived. Harold may be Harriet's 'father,' but Mr. Oglesby is Harriet's biological father. Harold knows this; he and I were not intimate during the time Harriet was (or could have been) conceived. Why Harold felt compelled to lie about the 'biology' of his paternity in his sworn declarations is an issue that, truly, ought to be addressed by therapeutic professionals. Why not just say, 'I am the father' instead of 'I am the biological father'? That's the problem with lying, of course, once you start it's very difficult to stop without giving up the appearances you're working so hard to maintain--especially when you are lying to your sweetheart/partner and to your attorney. Even if I were dead, Mr. Oglesby's paternity action would still be valid. I am not a part of it. If Harold swears under penalty of perjury that he is Harriet's 'biological' father, why does he refuse a DNA test?
Sincerely,
Harriet and Theodore's Mother
On Sunday, February 22nd, 2009 at 7:10 PM,
Mr. Ver Hoeve wrote:
Ms. Bernard-Abramowitz:
If you have Ms. Yvonne Moore's call log, please provide me a copy. Otherwise, I do not appreciate your cavalier use of words such as "cooperation" and your accusations regarding "lying." As in most cases, actions speak louder than any words can.
Sincerely,
Charles A. Ver Hoeve
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
On Sunday, February 22nd, 2009 at 7:55 PM,
Mrs. Abramowitz wrote:
Mr. Ver Hoeve,
Did you not understand what I meant when I asked you to correspond with me through the U.S. mail?
You are right. Harold's actions speak, and will continue to speak, louder, than any words. They are also hurting Harriet, Theodore and many people who love them and miss them.
And since you are telling me what you do not appreciate, I will tell you that I do not appreciate your cavalier refusal to address me by the name I asked you to address me by.
I am Harriet and Theodore's mother. Again, please address me as: Harriet and Theodore's Mother, or, if you'd like a little more flexibility, as: Harriet and Theodore's Mama (that's what the children call me). One or the other will do. Thank you.
Ms. Moore is the Chief Business Officer of a college. You have her address. I have a copy of the letter you sent her. If you would like to request a copy of Ms. Moore's 'call log,' please send me a letter through the U.S. mail stating so, or, better yet, call or write Ms. Moore yourself. I don't work for you. Perhaps you should be paying closer attention to your staff’s call logs. If Ms. Yvonne Moore said that she called you, and called you more than once, then she did.
Sincerely,
Harriet and Theodore's Mother
Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Dear Harold,
I have not been able to secure a monitor for today's visit.
Theodore was sick on 2/8/09. He had a horrible infection under his eye. Luckily, I got to take care of it for a few hours. On 2/11/09, you went to Chicago and left him with a babysitter. Theodore was still sick on 2/15/09. He had a high fever during the entire visit. He slept and sweated in my arms. He wanted to stay here, but I didn't dare ask you. You sent him back to school and daycare before he was well. Because of this, he lost the opportunity he'd cherished (and earned) to participate in the Monterey Hills Elementary School Talent Show (2/20/09). Okay. I respect your decisions, but he needs time with his mother.
Harriet spent her eleventh birthday with a babysitter while you were out of town. She asked to see me and you told her no. Okay. I respect your decisions, but she needs time with her mother.
Today is the third anniversary of your mother's funeral. I'm thinking about your mother.
I took care of your mother (and your father) when your mother was dying. Afterwards, your sisters sent me a gold charm that they'd given to your mother years before. It says, '#1 Mom.'
Today is my birthday. I'm sick with worry about 'my' children.
I know I might be wrong, but I do believe that Harriet and Theodore still need their mother.
We have been living this way for more than a year now. The children are surviving, not thriving. The children clearly understand and consistently demonstrate their respect for the fact that you are the boss and that what you say goes. I, too, understand that I must show respect for your authority over the children and over my interaction with the children. If your system allows for compassion at all, then, please, for their health, for my health, allow me, their mother, to be with the children today.
Please know that I did not neglect my duties--absurd as they are--Since when does the prisoner hire his own warden?--and that I tried my hardest to get a monitor for today's visit.
Yes, this week's exercise in humiliation/stigmatization of the mother still occurred on schedule.
Sorry this is so long.
Thanks for listening.
Your old friend,
Lani
On Sunday, February 22nd 2009 at 12:04 PM,
Mr. Abramowitz emailed Mrs. Abramowitz:
Mira-Lani,
Thanks for letting me know that you will not be having your visitation with Harriet and Theodore today.
As for the rest of your message, I consider it to be an attempt at provocation on your part and I will be forwarding it to the South Pasadena Police Dept. in accordance with the terms of the Restraining Order, which also covers email communication.
Thank you.
Best,
Harold
On Sun, Feb 22, 2009 at 12:27 PM,
Attorney Charles Ver Hoeve emailed his client,
Mr. Abramowitz,
and cc’d Mrs. Abramowitz:
Hello Mr. Abramowitz:
Thank you for keeping informed regarding status and issues regarding custody and visitation. I continue to be dismayed by Ms. Bernard-Abramowitz's tactics to seek a modification of the custody and visitation orders while REFUSING to comply with the long-standing orders to comply with the child custody evaluation.
In addition, I am pursuing the issue as to why Ms. Bernard-Abramowitz is not complying with the child support orders.
Sincerely,
Charles A. Ver Hoeve
On Sunday, February 22nd, 2009 at 4:24 PM,
Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Ver Hoeve:
Hello Mr. Ver Hoeve,
Since you are 'pursuing issues,' and since you Cc'd me, I suppose it's appropriate for me to respond to your email.
I still don't have an attorney or money for an attorney. My understanding is that legally Harold and I are divorced, that he has 'won' sole custody of the children, that there is a restraining order against me, and that my meager wages are being garnished to be wasted on after-school care and babysitting that I, the children's mother, a teacher with more than 25 years of professional experience, could joyfully and would gratefully provide free of charge.
Harold's actions and emails indicate that he wants to keep fighting, that he does not feel that he can ever share custody with me, and that he does not want me in the children's lives anymore. He seems to want sole custody, but still does not demonstrate compassion regarding the children's social and emotional needs. He is neglecting them and 'blaming' it on me. At Harold's behest, his family has dismissed me and encourages the children to do the same. PAS? These issues will not go away without help from therapeutic providers (not evaluators), even after the legal issues are resolved.
As Commissioner Michael J. Convey indicated at the June 2009 hearing, and as you are well aware, without an attorney and more than one custody evaluator, my children and I will not receive fair treatment in the Los Angeles Family Court.
This case has been going on since September 18th 2007 when, for some mysterious reason (since neither attorney requested it), the first hearing was held in chambers out of my presence. I still have no idea what went on.
Also, for some mysterious reason, in all this time, neither of the two presiding Court officials has seen fit to actually meet with the children and their so-called 'counsel.'
Oh, I'm sorry, my mistake. The first hearing was August 20th. It was an exparte hearing between you and Judge Goldstein of which no record was made (not by the court reporter, not by the electronic means available in all the courtrooms at Hill Street). Maybe that was when you asked for the September 18th chambers meeting. It's not mentioned in the August 20th Minute Orders. The week prior to that, you, Charles, 'disappeared' from the August 15th mediation appointment. You were there one minute and gone the next. Because you left, we were not even able to try mediation. Why did we have to go to court in the first place? Why couldn't we have tried mediation? Was it because you knew that I didn't have any money or adequate representation? That I was psychologically battered, unprotected, without resources and that you could just railroad me at whatever cost to the children? Tactics?
And now Harriet and Theodore suffer, continue to suffer. I understand that this is your profession, that it is adversarial and not collaborative, and that, even when--or especially when--you are working as a favor to a friend, you are obligated to use all available tactics to decimate your opponent. But don't you, as an attorney, have an ethical responsibility towards the children and their welfare? I don't know. Maybe not.
When, G-d willing, I am able to hire/gain access to a competent attorney and an unbiased Custody Evaluator, I will comply, if necessary, with an evaluation procedure that follows state and local laws and the profession's standards of practice. I hope your client will also comply. Evaluations of parents are supposed to happen concurrently, at least that's what I've read. When there are allegations of abuse and neglect (backed by sworn witness statements), tests beyond the MMPI are supposed to be administered, because the MMPI doesn't test for the problems Harold (and his family) has and that the children will have to live with.
Believe it or not, not everyone who refuses to participate in a custody evaluation has something to hide. Sometimes, as in my case, they are actually trying to follow G-d's law and avoid an escalation of hurt and problems. I don't believe in fighting in family court (or wasting money that could be better spent on the children) and would still rather work this out in a non-adversarial, collaborative, and forgiving way.
In the meantime, the children need more time with their mother and unmonitored time with their mother, regardless of who won custody. Since the court is your arena, since you are so obviously friendly and on good terms with the judges and clerks, since the 'unbiased' evaluator sees fit to have private communication with you and make private fee arrangements with you, since, during the hearings, the children's counsel whispers advice to you, Petitioner's counsel, regarding removing his clients' own witnesses from the courtroom, and since, before the hearings, the children's counsel and evaluator inappropriately confer with you in the court house hallway (without including me, the self-represented Respondent, despite the fact that I am obviously present), I think that you should be the one to ask for this relief for the children.
Furthermore, Ms. Yvonne Moore, the Chief Business Officer at Cleveland Chiropractic College tried several times to get in touch with you regarding setting up the wage garnishment. Despite the friendly encouragement you offered in your letter to 'call you with questions,' you were never available to speak with her when she called your office. She left messages for you, but you did not return her calls. According to my paycheck, the wage garnishment is now in place.
Similarly, I, the unwilling and unwillingly 'self-represented' Respondent, have not heard anything from you, Charles Ver Hoeve, attorney for the Petitioner, (until today, and today only indirectly) since you neglected/refused to respond to the certified letters I sent you last March 2007 and April 2007, almost a year ago now. In November and December, you lied in court when you said you'd had me served with papers. I wasn't there, but I read the transcripts. Are attorneys allowed to lie in court about serving papers? About anything?
Finally, you still don't even know my name. In your future communications with me or about me, you may correctly refer to me as: Harriet and Theodore's Mother.
For instance,
'Dear Harriet and Theodore's Mother,
I am aware that the children need their mother and I will do my best to help my client(s) understand that, while it is good not to hurt or eat animals, it is just as important not to hurt or eat people....'
Sincerely,
Harriet and Theodore's Mother
'Courage in women is often mistaken for insanity.'
On Sunday, February 22nd, 2009 at 5:08 PM,
Mr. Ver Hoeve wrote:
Ms. Bernard Abramowitz:
I have not received any calls from Ms. Yvonne Moore since sending her the child support order.
Regarding the issue of cooperation, would you agree to sign a stipulation re joinder of yourself to the paternity action filed by Mr. Oglesby. That way we can set a hearing to resolve the issue of paternity that Mr. Oglesby, not Mr. Abramowitz, raised.
I am happy to work with you if you are willing to cooperate. Cooperation, however, begins with complying with the already existing court orders and requesting any changes you think are appropriate through the court.
Sincerely,
Charles A. Ver Hoeve
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
On Sunday, February 22nd, 2009 at 6:33 PM,
Mrs. Abramowitz wrote:
Mr. Ver Hoeve,
Please send all of your correspondence to me via United States mail. Please cooperate with my request and address me as 'Harriet and Theodore's Mother.'
You are lying about Ms. Moore. She called you and left you messages, to which you did not respond.
As I explained, unless and until I have an attorney, I cannot 'stipulate to,' 'cooperate with' or 'request any changes' through the court. That is what the Judge/Commissioner said. You know that. Please do not continue to try to manipulate me, or trick me, into working against my own and the children's best interests.
I am not married to Mr. Oglesby. Mr. Oglesby is Harriet's biological father. Although I was married to Mr. Oglesby for several years (1987-1994), I was not married to him when Harriet was conceived. Harold may be Harriet's 'father,' but Mr. Oglesby is Harriet's biological father. Harold knows this; he and I were not intimate during the time Harriet was (or could have been) conceived. Why Harold felt compelled to lie about the 'biology' of his paternity in his sworn declarations is an issue that, truly, ought to be addressed by therapeutic professionals. Why not just say, 'I am the father' instead of 'I am the biological father'? That's the problem with lying, of course, once you start it's very difficult to stop without giving up the appearances you're working so hard to maintain--especially when you are lying to your sweetheart/partner and to your attorney. Even if I were dead, Mr. Oglesby's paternity action would still be valid. I am not a part of it. If Harold swears under penalty of perjury that he is Harriet's 'biological' father, why does he refuse a DNA test?
Sincerely,
Harriet and Theodore's Mother
On Sunday, February 22nd, 2009 at 7:10 PM,
Mr. Ver Hoeve wrote:
Ms. Bernard-Abramowitz:
If you have Ms. Yvonne Moore's call log, please provide me a copy. Otherwise, I do not appreciate your cavalier use of words such as "cooperation" and your accusations regarding "lying." As in most cases, actions speak louder than any words can.
Sincerely,
Charles A. Ver Hoeve
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
On Sunday, February 22nd, 2009 at 7:55 PM,
Mrs. Abramowitz wrote:
Mr. Ver Hoeve,
Did you not understand what I meant when I asked you to correspond with me through the U.S. mail?
You are right. Harold's actions speak, and will continue to speak, louder, than any words. They are also hurting Harriet, Theodore and many people who love them and miss them.
And since you are telling me what you do not appreciate, I will tell you that I do not appreciate your cavalier refusal to address me by the name I asked you to address me by.
I am Harriet and Theodore's mother. Again, please address me as: Harriet and Theodore's Mother, or, if you'd like a little more flexibility, as: Harriet and Theodore's Mama (that's what the children call me). One or the other will do. Thank you.
Ms. Moore is the Chief Business Officer of a college. You have her address. I have a copy of the letter you sent her. If you would like to request a copy of Ms. Moore's 'call log,' please send me a letter through the U.S. mail stating so, or, better yet, call or write Ms. Moore yourself. I don't work for you. Perhaps you should be paying closer attention to your staff’s call logs. If Ms. Yvonne Moore said that she called you, and called you more than once, then she did.
Sincerely,
Harriet and Theodore's Mother
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