First Kings 3.15 - 4.1

On Sunday, December 5th, 2010 at 2:02 p.m.,
Mrs. Abramowitz emailed Mr. Abramowitz:

Dear Harold,

Saturday, November 13th, was the third anniversary of the day Theodore and Harriet left my care (and homeschool) and went to live with you (and attend public school).

Three years is long enough to wait and see if things could get better between us and make joint custody possible...

As I've now written (and attorney Rick Wirick has written) several times, I need to meet with the children's court-ordered therapist.

I understand why you wouldn't want to go on paying for them to see a therapist (despite the court order), but then I think it's unfair that you're still insisting (based on a court order) that I have a Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) monitor.

Your continual insistence on a 'monitor' is, in itself, a form of PAS.

These are issues I'd rather discuss with a therapist or mediator as we move forward,

but you won't respond to my requests for meetings,

and neither you nor your attorney have responded to my attorney.

I am getting bills from the County Child Support Services for more than $35,000.

Last year (2009), at Charles Ver Hoeve's request, $5,000 (50 percent) was garnished from my Cleveland Chiropractic College wages.

I was not served regarding the child support hearing and, although Judge Convey's court reporter was present, there is no transcript of that 12/9/08 hearing. The amount of child support ordered must have been based on my income prior to losing the children and my career (2007). Technically, the wage garnishment hearing wasn't legal [Family Law Code 215]. And neither was the transfer from Department 63 (Goldstein) to Department 27 (Convey) [L.A. Superior Court Rules 14.5]. Incidentally, Judge Convey left Stanley Mosk on November 1st to go to (of all ironic places) Van Nuys.

Harold, I will never be able to pay you child support unless I have a reason to live and work and earn.

When the children were taken from me three years ago, I was supporting the family (without any financial help from you), as I had during the prior two years since our separation (July,2005).

As you may remember, I was doing the homeschool with Harriet and Theodore (along with other part time students) and intending to turn the work into a Ph.D. (Antioch) that would make me academically employable once the children were older and more independent.

Now, I earn less than $2,000 per month, am back in debt (after having started to recover from our 2005 bankruptcy), and, like many women my age and in my situation, have few prospects.

I have been trying to fit into the new life you've built for the children and make the possibility of 'joint' custody (as you originally requested) easy by being right across the street.

I am currently able to offer daily after-school care as in-kind child support.

The children could move freely between our homes without you having to interact with me.

I understand that I should stay away from you, that you and your family want nothing to do with me, although I think it would be better for Harriet and Theodore if you and I (and your father and sisters) could, at least, be cordial with each other.

Harriet said that you told her you saw us (unmonitored, by the way) at El Coyote (9-26-10), but that you didn't want to come over and say, 'hi,' so as 'not to interrupt your time with your mother.'

Had you briefly greeted us (instead of feeling you had to leave), I would have been so happy and I think the children would have felt great relief. But if you decided not to greet us, then why would you mention seeing us to Harriet?

Again, this is why I want to talk to the therapist;
I don't get it and I guess,
even after all of these years (23),
I don't suppose I ever will.

Clearly, Harriet and Theodore respect your authority and know that you are 'in charge' of them.

I'm glad that you and your family have, and will continue to have, a relationship with the children, but I don't like the way you and your family have treated me, and I think it's a bad example for Harriet and Theodore.

I've spoken with Child Support Services. You can write a letter and withdraw your claim against me.

If you don't, then (assuming I would participate in that system) the next step would be for me to file a claim against you for back child support (2005 - 2007).

We would keep lots of clerks busy and lots of notices would continue to be sent at the taxpayers' expense.

(I usually get one a week, and occasional recorded phone messages).

In the meantime, every hour of energy that we devote to that pursuit will be an hour of energy not spent earning money or spending time with the children.

If you (and your family) are not willing to respect me, my humanity, then it's (possibly) better for the children that I bow out and let you all get on with it. As you well know, none of this has been good for my health, and my mother and my uncle both died of stress-induced cancer when they were only a few years older than I am now.

The children want/need to celebrate Shabbat with me on Friday nights. I am right across the street. They ask you every week, even when they know their request will be ignored or denied, and for that, I am so proud of them.

Again, unless our situation changes, these are issues I need to discuss with the children's court-ordered therapist.

If you continue to insist on monitored visits, then the court order regarding the therapist needs to be honored, as well.

Three years is long enough.

Sincerely,

Mira-Lani