From the notebook of Lynda L. Rascón:
October 25th, 2009 Drop Off
I called Harold's cell phone at 6:08 pm. He did not answer and I left a message asking him to please call back. When we arrived at Lani's house, the kids went upstairs to get their belongings and I stayed downstairs cutting the netting from the dress that Lani had just purchased for Harriet to use for Halloween. The reason we were late for the drop off was that the last minute shopping for Halloween costumes took longer than anticipated.
Lani stayed at the curbside as I walked with the children to their apartment. We saw Harold headed to what I was informed was the apartment complex's laundry facility. I walked towards the stairs and saw Harold coming up the stairs with white laundry. I attempted to make small talk with him, letting him know that my washing machine was not working. By the time he reached the top of the stairs, his face was really red and he walked quickly towards his apartment door, leaving me behind as he spoke loudly and began to say, why did we bring them back at 6:30 p.m., why was Lani at the curbside, why did I bring them late the previous visit (which was not so), why did I leave a message asking him to call me back when I should have left a message letting him know that we were going to be late. He was extremely upset.
Before Harold reached the door to his apartment, Theodore was already inside the living room and Harriet was walking in. She turned towards me and I could see her anxiety. I was looking at the situation as: What is he so worked up about?
I asked him, "Why are you being so mean to me?" He did not respond to this. I also asked what was the big deal about us being 30 minutes late when I had called him and he had not answered or returned the call. I further asked, what did he have to do that had put him behind on his schedule; at 6:30 p.m. on a Sunday I do not believe he had plans to go anywhere.
He then closed the door and, within a second, reopened the door to ask me, "How would you like it if you came at 12 p.m. to pick them up and they did not go outside till 12:30 p.m.?" I told him it would not bother me. At least not to the point of such obvious anger, is what I was thinking. He then closed the door and I walked away.
I was in disbelief that after just three monitored visits he began to show his true self. I was also concerned with what he would say to the children.
After such a beautiful day, it would end with such anger over something that could have been discussed in a very nice way. I am understanding. Harold, on the other hand, seems to be on a one-way track towards making those around him as miserable as himself. The misery is obvious when he has two wonderful children and chooses to live with them as an "Adult Roommate" and not as a loving parent. As you will see in his response to my email, he believes he was cordial and that there is nothing wrong with us picking up the kids at the curbside instead of the front of his apartment.
When Harriet begins to date, I wonder will he be okay with her being picked up at the curbside?
On Monday, October 26th, 2009 at 8:24 a.m., Lynda L. Rascón emailed Mr. Abramowitz:
Hi, Harold. I hope to put last night's episode behind us and move forward. I saw the episode as something that should not have been. I am a very understanding and expressive person and would have understood what you are requesting with nicer manners. Communication is very important in the lives of all of us.
I understand the importance of being on time. Yet, I also understand that there are times when time goes by quickly to accomplish what has been planned. I would like to continue to pick up the children from the front of the apartment, not coming near the steps. I find it very important that they are not picked up in the street. The little understanding that I have of social propriety leads me to believe that picking them up in the street is not and does not feel right.
Last week's visit was to end at 6:30 p.m,, since we did pick them up at 12:30 p.m., to clear up the timing from that visit. My apologies for being late yesterday, I was cutting the netting from the dress and it was taking me longer than expected. I will be more punctual in the future.
Claudette and I will be arriving earlier to assure punctuality. If it is acceptable we will keep the visitations from 12:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m. Please let me know if there is anything that you need help with.
Best regards and Blessings,
Lynda
On Monday, October 26th, 2009 at 9:52 a.m., Mr. Abramowitz emailed Lynda L. Rascon:
Hi Lynda,
For what it's worth, I am happy that you are willing to help Mira-Lani with her monitoring needs.
However, hovering at the top of our apartment complex's narrow stairwell as I am coming up with two arm-fulls [sic] of laundry and then asking me if I'm "doing laundry", and then following me to my door is a breach of my personal space and boundaries. Furthermore, if you knew you were going to be late, and were making a courtesy call to inform me that you were going to be late, why didn't you just say that on the message? Why leave your number with no information and ask me to call you back? Again, this seems like a breach of my time and space.
I trust that Mira-Lani's time with Harriet and Theodore is being used appropriately with you as monitor. There does not need to be a lot, or any, discussion beyond the making [sic] pick-up and drop-off arrangements. Also, I would prefer if you did not come to the door uninvited. Harriet and Theodore have never had to go to the "street" to meet their mother, but they are certainly capable of walking partially up and down the walkway.
Next Sunday is fine, except I would prefer that the time be from 12:30pm to 6:30pm. If this is possible, please let me know. Also, in the future, if you guys are going to be late coming back and need to call, please just say that on the message. I do understand that that happens from time to time.
I apologize if you felt our interaction yesterday was anything less than cordial, but I hope you understand my point of view.
Best,
Harold
